bass notes

I don't believe I've told you this, but during my stay here I have bought a bass guitar. It's green, and I've totally fallen in love with it. Because of this purchase I've been able to participate in song services as well as in a band organized by the school here, ECAS (stands for Escuela de Capacitación Adventista Salvadoreña, which basically means it's an Adventist college-prep school). Being a part of the band has been a big time-commitment, what with practice time as well as performance time, and though I've enjoyed learning new songs and gaining experience as a bass player, there have been times when I have been quite unhappy about being in the band. Because of this, I decided that this past Sabbath would be the last time that I would play with the band. I didn't feel bad about this decision because my responsibilities as a band member included that of training my replacement, anticipating the day of my departure. So, for the past few months I have been teaching Estefany, one of the girls here, how to play the bass. After I taught her the basics, she begain taking lessons from Professor Fabio (the leader of the band) as well. She has now learned the songs well enough to continue playing in the band for every performance. No, she's still not perfect, but she has learned a lot. And so, without guilt, I dubbed this past performance my last. I awoke at 4:00 in the morning to prepare myself and gather my things for the journey. We planned to leave at 5:00 but didn't actually leave until 5:30. We then rode for three hours in a bus, making our way toward San Miguel. We then performed songs for the two Sabbath School sessions and two church services. We finished around 1:00 p.m. and then drove to our next destination. When we got there around 2:00, they provided us with lunch. We then played for their afternoon service (called Sociedad de Jóvenes, or Society of Young People) and then drove home. As I walked off the stage after our final song, Elisabeth whispered to me, "Quoth the raven, 'Nevermore.'" I hadn't realized it until just then, but she was right. I planned to never play with the band again, and since Ian has left (Ian and I used to play together for song services) and I no longer play for song services, that was probably my last chance to play the bass here in El Salvador. But for some reason, I wasn't sad. I wasn't happy either. I felt simply neutral. We then packed up the bus and embarked on our three-hour ride back home. All-in-all, it was a fun trip, and surprisingly, I didn't feel resentful at the fact that the trip was keeping me from my much-valued social time with the other SMs during our once-a-month potluck and weekly Saturday night activities. Instead, I was glad that I had been there to participate in the music.

I have experienced yet another mood swing of sorts. In past entries I have felt melancholy at the thought of leaving this place, sad at the prospect of closing this chapter in my life. But the problem is that I've been feeling as though I was about to leave for quite some time now. I feel like I should have already left. But no. I'm still here. So now I feel quite ready to return home and get back to "life as usual."